I think you always knew something was wrong

From last night, Oliver walked into the bathroom and said:

For some reason, I feel safer with you than with daddy.

—I said that sounds like a hard feeling. Why do you feel like that?—

Oliver said: You are more snugly. And your arms are softer.

Daddy is more active and can be more fun to play around with though.

—after a couple of seconds, he starts to get angry—

Daddy says he will read a book to me at bedtime, but then he doesn't!

He stopped squeezing me after you had THE BIG TALK. Until I threw his mouse and then he did it again really hard.

—I hear you and I want you to know that is not okay. Daddy knows this isn't okay and he's going to continue working on it. I'm really glad you feel safe to share these feelings with me. And I'm glad you told me about the squeezing. It is always okay to talk to me about this.—

—-he's getting more dysrrgulated—

We need to tell daddy needs to go to the gym every week! He needs to go to the gym every night until he stops!!

((Is this some kind of parallelism with Oliver and OT / big feelings and Richard needing to take his to the gym? I'm not sure.)

————— Two nights later ——————-

Another late night conversation with Oliver after Richard went to bed early by himself

Oliver: we don't feel like a family anymore.
Me: we don't?
Oliver: no. Just friends that live together.
Me: what would feel more like a family, you think?
Oliver: if we played together more.
Me: hmm we played that card game tonight alltogether
Oliver: not me. Not daddy.
Me: you were with us at the table enjoying it though
Oliver: not daddy though. We're not a family anymore.