One

So here we are. You're about to turn one. I can hardly believe. I feel like you just got here and like you've always been here simultaneously.  We've  had such joy and such stress over the last 12 months. Such obstacles and such victories.  It's been a bumpy ride, for sure, but worth every second.

You, sir, are the happiest baby. You exude so much joy and so much love. I've never known a child to be so delighted with life.  You are the most ticklish, gleeful little guy.  I swear that heart eyes emoji was modeled after your face.  The look you get when you see your people... your sister and your dad... it is like your heart is pouring out if your eyes. You love so hard.  And we love you back twice as much.

You are fearless. You climb anything that can be climbed, and many things that can't. You live for the perfectly misplaced box or slightly ajar door. A grin creeps over your face and you bolt for it. But then you stop. You smile. You whispers. You look at us out of the corner of your eye. You feel so sneaky and you revel in it. You need us to see how clever you are. And believe me, we do.

It is important for he to remember all these things. The way you dance. The way you smile the biggest smile and pat us while singing "ahhh ahhh ahhh."  The way you come to me when you're tired.  The way you snuggle up for milk and massage my chest while you drift off.  The way your eye lids relax. Your sweet smile dissolves. You relax completely in my arms, and though it's not been easy, I hold you and I wait. I'm here for you, always. 

It's important to realize how you cheer. How you trust. How you giggle. It's impor to remember that although your food allergies consume our every minute, they do not consume us. You are happy. I am in love.  These things are forever, but your allergies will, hopefully, fade away like your sisters.  

We struggle. Just Tuesday you had your worst reaction yet.  You have failed as many foods direct as you have passed.  You want more. I want more. It is an emotional journey we are on. But we are together, and we are supported by your very loving sister and father, and we will persevere. The days are long, but our first year together was much too short. I miss your (not so tiny) squishy body. I miss your babyhood, but my goodness what a spectacular little boy you have become. These says are my favorite. Watching you walk. Watching you explore. Watching you wander over just to sit next to your sister because you want to be with her always. Watching you mimic and learn. You are amazing!

I hope I'm doing right by you and your tummy. I hope you feel wrapped up in love always. And I hope food gets easier soon so we can spend more if our days enjoying the joy together vs crawling through the quinoa muck.  I hope you feel all the love we all have for you. You are one, my love. What adventures lie ahead! ❤️