Quarantine Journals - Pandemic parenting

Well, to elaborate on my post from yesterday, last night was pretty awful. I didn't mind at all having them both in the bed, that isn't what kept me up, but Oliver woke up nearly every 15 minutes until I woke Richard up at 4:45. Couldn't sleep, he couldn't settle, and at one point he ended up reaching his hand up the back of my shirt which I think reminded him of milk and set off a little bit of a meltdown. Or maybe the meltdown was set off by me telling Richard that I needed a break. I didn't actually get to sleep until 530, and when Richard took Oliver into the other bedroom, Oliver refused to sleep so they started their day at 5:30. 

Richard called and woke me up at 9:00, saying that he was taking Oliver for a walk in the stroller, but Penny refused to come even though he had been waiting half an hour for her to get dressed. So slowly but surely I got up and helped her with her schoolwork while Richard took Oliver on a walk for about an hour. I don't remember if I mentioned that she was having a really rough time with school work yesterday, writing in particular. She was very frustrated, didn't want to do her writing, and said that it was the thing that she liked least about distance-learning. I told her yesterday that I didn't mind if she skipped it, but that she had to understand that she would have to get it done today. And so we had agreed that was the best solution for the day. I think Wednesday's are particularly hard because she has several subjects she hast to do, and then we added her a little lunch meeting to the day, so school went on for a very long time.  But when she woke up this morning, she was ready to tackle it. She said "mom I feel a lot better about writing this morning! I think I just needed a good sleep in a little bit of a break. But I was ready to get started and I'm really enjoying it now." That was a huge relief. 

I've been thinking a lot today about how parenting looks different during this pandemic than it usually does.  I think it was brought on by the fact that this morning instead of having them put their iPad/tablet away as soon as Penny was done with her schoolwork, I just let them play on them for an hour. They were both totally preoccupied and having a blast, and I was able to come into the bedroom and fold some laundry and put some things away while I watch TV on the iPad. And of how it wasn't exactly a break because I was still doing housework, I felt like a breather or no one was fighting and no one was asking for something or needing me really, and I was able to just move about the cabin freely for a few minutes.  It was then that I realized that even though the kids are getting a lot more screen time now than they ever did before, it's not the same type of screen time.

For example, Oliver never used to have a tablet or iPad to play on. We always spent our mornings doing tasks and very rarely in front of the TV. The only time I can think that we actually had TV time was after Penny got home from school if I needed them to watch TV for me to fix dinner. Or she would watch TV while he was taking a nap sometimes. And then, on occasion, we would watch a movie in the living room while we ate dinner. Things look different these days, of course, with distance-learning in our lives. We wake up and eat breakfast, and then Penny starts on her schoolwork which inevitably leads to all of her yelling for his tablet. So she does her schoolwork while he plays around on whatever apps he can access on his Amazon fire. When she finishes her schoolwork, she always asks to play a game as well. And I always like to say yes because I don't want her to feel like she's missing out. Usually she plays a wild Kratts game or does code spark, which is still educational to be honest. This is time that they wouldn't usually be on screens, but it's not time that I'm getting a break. Because even though they're both on their tablets, I'm back-and-forth helping Penny her with her schoolwork While I try to get myself some breakfast, or get a single task or two done. Frequently, Oliver is needing me to do one thing or another, and I'm just bouncing back-and-forth between the two of them.  So I guess what I'm saying is even though it's more screen time, it's less downtime for me. It's not screen time where I'm getting a break or a breather. It's screen time where I'm working the entire time to help both kids accomplish their goals, while still trying to meet my basic needs. So allowing them to both play games where they didn't require my assistance for an hour allowed me to finally take a minute. And it was literally the first time that I have done that since this whole thing started.

After they finish their iPads, the two of them were playing in the living room and bedroom when I got a phone call from Amy. I called her back, worrying that somethings wrong, but she was just calling to ask a couple of questions that she could send Penny a gift. I got to talk to her for a few minutes, and Richard was kind enough to get the kids lunch going while we were chatting.

After lunch, Oliver was pretty much ready for a nap. I think it's the first time that he has come willingly in weeks, but last night was horrible, and he was super exhausted.  He took a three hour nap, at least, and once he got up we tried to FaceTime my dad but he wasn't available. We ended up faced timing with Aurora for a little bit, and then got off the phone with her and started getting dinner ready when Deanna called. So we FaceTime with Deanna for a little bit as well, and Oliver was really excited to see/talk to her dog. Deanna promised to FaceTime Penny tomorrow when she gets Sammy the salamander out, so Penny could see him walking around. Penny's really excited!

We are finally sitting down for dinner when my dad said he was ready to talk, so I went ahead and called him and we all chatted at the dining room table with him while we were eating dinner. It was nice because we could all be there and participate in the same conversation, and the kids can sit still and enjoy seeing him and hearing him talk in a way that they just don't necessarily do when they're not eating. I even thought that we might make it a daily thing. We talked about a lot of things including Trump and all sorts of goings-on. I took a video that I wanted to say if I've just us chatting to have it, but for some reason it didn't seem to work. There was no audio, and I couldn't hear anything that was going on. The video was huge, so I wanna head and deleted it. I'll try again another time.

After dinner, I noticed the weather was quite pretty outside, so we all went for a walk around the neighborhood. Oliver did pretty good at walking on his own, and Penny spotted a couple of hummingbirds while she was riding her scooter up and down the alley. That was very exciting for everyone. We saw tons of bunnies, got a little energy out, and headed home to get ready for bed.

I was talking to my dad about the fact that there's a pipe leaking in the front yard, but it seems like a slow week I think. We're really not privy on the plumbing stuff here, so I couldn't figure out how to get to the meter and see what's going on. I'm hesitant to call Anybody out here to look at it simply because I don't want to deal with anybody or have anybody come into the house. 

And on that same note, I've been worrying about a small red spot that's on the front left side of Penny's face. I don't remember exactly when it showed up, I guess a few months ago, and I initially thought that it was an injury but now it almost looks like a spider vein. Of course, I'm not taking her anywhere to have it looked at, but I was thinking about trying to do a telehealth visit just to see if there was anything concerning about it. But then what? I can't imagine leaving the house right now. Honestly, I can't imagine leaving the house in a few months. I can't imagine her going back to school. And yet Trump is pushing all of the states to reopen, and the Florida beaches are open again, and other states are allowing restaurants to have dining customers again, and my brothers being required to go back to work on May 4. I'm terrified, and almost more of just how our nation is being run then anything else. They are going to send us all straight to the slaughter just because they wanna make a pretty penny, and they're not gonna give a shit who's lives it cost.