Quarantine Journals - Woodworking, Hunger, Worries

This morning Penny asked me if people can die from hunger. She wanted to know how long you can live without food and what happens. She is worried that people are running out of food. 😔

This afternoon, she brought out money from her piggy bank to donate to the local food shelter. I matched it 10X.

Richard and Penny are building a giant jenga set.  Oliver was very focused on finding his parents again, so I suggested some chalk art, which quickly turned into washing rocks, which morphed into a weird splash pad, which became a car wash, which turned into a legit bath. 

We watched the One World special on TV while Richard is fixing food. My dad had messaged me, he was watching it too.  We were both crying. Richard fixed hamburgers leftovers from last night, and we just ate them in the living room while we watched the Disney sing-along from the sea nights ago. We had talked about doing an outdoor movie, but I was so tired and defeated, and all I wanted to do was get Penny to bed early. But, it's still didn't happen. Whenever the TVs involved, I just can't seem to get her to eat her food and get to bed at a decent time. It took her over half an hour to fall asleep tonight.

After she crashed, I went into the bathroom to take a shower, But I also brought the iPad and ended up texting Richard that I was just gonna sit here and watch a show for a little bit. I've told him multiple times over the last few days and I'm really needing some time to myself. Whereas he gets to spend the majority of the workday is at his computer by himself, and then gets to spend Saturday quietly driving in his car and then sitting at the office alone to focus on actually using his brain, I am doing 24 / 7 parenting 6 days a week, and then the majority of the 7th day as well. I haven't had a break in months, and I'm just really feeling it. I told him that earlier today while he was woodworking, but I think that I just have to tell him I'm going to do this. He's not gonna suggest it or make time for it himself. So that's what I did.

I sat in the bathroom floor and watched a few episodes of Schitts creek. Then I climbed into the shower, came out to nurse Oliver, and got him to bed.  Richards planned this morning, to give him credit, was to go to work early and be back here in time to take Oliver for his nap. But he said the highway was shut down on the way into work, and it took him forever to get there. He got home about 20 minutes after I lay down with Oliver. And Oliver was still awake, he was almost asleep and it didn't make any sense to me to restart the process and push his nap any later. It was already late enough because I had an unexpected foray with the steam cleaner to clean up yet another incident of Mosley's pee. Anyway. I know he was trying. But it's just after months of this, I need more than just an hour in the bathroom. 

Here's hoping that we can carve out something tomorrow. But the odd thing is, with everything that's going on, despite the fact that we're here with each other almost all day every day, she's really craving some one on one attention and dedicated play time. I think she's just feeling insecure about everything else, but it's hard to feel like you're already giving everything, and then it's not enough. The one moment that you might have some time to yourself, you have to sit down and dedicate it to your child who needs it more. But that's parenthood for you. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

I don't know if I mentioned this yesterday or not, but mary of Mary's Madness, has been in rehab for the last six months. I have been asking Jessica where she was because I notice she hadn't been posting and she wasn't signed up for any craft shows before this all happened. Then I saw a post from her about a week ago saying that she had almost died, the doctors ready to pull the plug and asked her if she wanted to fight and she said yes. She was supposed to get out of rehab next week, but yesterday she got an email from the facility saying that there were positive cases there, and today she posted that she has pneumonia. So that was pretty fucking heartbreaking, and I'm really worried that she's not gonna get to leave this facility now.

In chrysalis news, the first one that got knocked down by the caterpillar yesterday ended up disintegrating today. The chrysalis basically opened up to reveal a bunch of green goo. It's pretty horrifying and fascinating at the same time. But it made me panic that we couldn't wait for the other two that he had knocked down to harden anymore. So I spent this morning scooping them out of the cup ever so gently, and meticulously gluing them to the lid so that they could hang and finish their transformation. I got everybody successfully moved over, but not without a ton of stress. They are all in the butterfly habitat except for the jerk

caterpillar who is still in his cup with a paper towel lid now.