Quarantine Journals - Catch up, whew.

I haven't been writing. Why? Because everything is very unusual and stressful on an every single second basis.

Almost every single contractor interaction I have had at this point has been tainted in some way by some condescending, sexist asshole trying to gaslight me.  We wasted a week waiting on the reconstruction people to get their shit together.  When I spoke to the manager, he basically treated me like I was some kind of overly emotional lady imbecile. We tried to get another company to take over, but they ended up being another waste of time.  The third company was the charm, I HOPE.  The PM is a Coppell resident, the company is a Coppell company, and he seems very nice, capable, kind, and responsive.  He sent me this email that was probably one of the nicest things I have heard this year, and it really meant so much to me.

"On a completely unrelated note, my wife happened to see your name in our correspondence and recognized it from the "Unify Coppell" Facebook page. You've done some amazing things for our community and it's encouraging to know there are like minded people working towards an equitable future for our children and the generations to come. I had a feeling you were good people!

Anyway, have a great weekend!"

The adjuster seemed to get angry that I was not using his contractors, and is now dragging his feet to a really ridiculous degree.  He sent me on a wild goose chase for justification for replacing the flooring, which ended up with me on the phone with the GM at DF who was also just a jerk.  He kept telling me that no one had told me what they had most definitely told me, and later I found the audio recordings to prove it. Mostly just for my peace of mind, really, because being gaslit is a serious mind trip and I was so infuriated.  The next day, the adjuster okayed the charges without even a word from me, so it was all for nothing.  But then the new contractor increased a labor price and the adjuster threw another big fit, calling me and telling me to just let him send out his company (again).  I told him he had been talking to Dan for a week, he could just call and work it out with Dan.  At this rate, I feel like its going to take another week just to get the work going.  And I don't have the time or bandwidth to even order / pick out fixtures to get it all done.  Partially because I'm dealing with all these idiots, and partially because Oliver is a ticking time bomb.

The kids are having a lot of fun being here with my dad. We play lots of board games, card games, and do a lot of puzzles. We watch movies and go swimming.  We catch bugs in their new bug nets and play in the dirt. Sometimes we walk across the street to say hi to the horses, who always come over to see the kids.

My dad has been cooking lots of delicious meals, though the kids don't always eat them.  I am really enjoying the culinary trip down memory lane for sure.  My pant line maybe not so much.  It has been really nice to have him around to talk about contractors and weigh in on things that are going on.

The new guy, Dan, makes me laugh, and he also has kids so he just seems to get it. I really hope they do nice work and do end up being a pleasure to work with because I would like some smooth sailing, please.

When all that dry force stuff was going on last week, when I had to deal with that horrible manager, I ended up having like a full blow anxiety attack complete with the "omg I am having a heart attack" sensation, and now my chest hurts pretty much any time I get upset.  It is not ideal and kind of scary.  I wish it would go away.

Oliver is either super sweet and adorable or trying to murder us all.  He is a rage machine, throwing, hitting, kicking, and totally flipping out at the first sign of distress. It has made everything SO MUCH HARDER.  He takes all my mental and physical resources every second of the day that he is awake.  I am so tired.  I never sleep and it is really killing me. I was going to bed early tonight, but ended up just sitting here in the quiet writing.

I am very lonely and I wish I had someone to call and talk to.  But I dont' really. Not at 11PM anyway.

School got delayed until 8/17 and they are doing online only for the first 3 weeks. They have approval from the TEA to do it for the first 8 weeks, and I think it is really irresponsible that they are not taking advantage of that.  The schedule they sent out is pure madness. Unrealistic and impossible to navigate.... totally unenjoyable for the kids as well. We will do our best, but I will pull and homeschool her before I let her hate school because of this BS.  They are now requiring all grades PRE-K and up wear a mask at all times. I laughed. Have you met kids?  All their safety precautions are based on a fantasy.  A Georgia school has already shut down TWICE because of COVID and it's been open like three weeks.  This is a nightmare, and now they are talking about some other virus they expect to ramp up this year that targets kids.  So many people are dying (COVID) and the president doesn't give a flying fuck.  He seriously told a reporter the other day that COVID "would go away like all things go away." And finished up with "it is what it is."   

Racism continues to run rampant. The statue in Weatherford that we were told would be moved as soon as they found somewhere for it, and then again as soon as they found money, is now being kept.  There was a big, violent terrible protest a week and a half ago where people literally had snipers trained on the protesters—punched, kicked, pushed, and pulled knives on them as well. I'm trying to help with writing and editing letters for officials and helping with communication to support the removal of the statue, protesting schools opening, protesting our districts unrealistic expectations... anything I can do from home.

Carmen continues to be a total godsend and the best thing to come out of COVID.  She makes me so happy and I just love knowing she's out there and can help us out.  We have Paula out here in Weatherford helping out, but she is nothing compared to my dear sweet Carmen, lol.

That's it for a while.  I am tired.