Beard


Me: Whose that?
Oliver: That's me.
Me: Oh, I like it. Do you have a beard?
Oliver: I don't have a beard. I only have a penis. And I don't have ears.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Quarantine Journals - Plumbing Saga Continues

Image
I really want to try to go to bed at a decent hour, so I'm going to try and make this quick and snappy. The diggers came out and spent 8 to 5 digging the tunnel underneath the house. They told us that they would cover it to prevent the rain getting in, but they just threw a piece of plywood on top of it. The plywood isn't even as big as a whole, and I felt very angry that they didn't do what they said they were going to do by topping it. Also, no one ever sent me a picture, that picture that I saw was the one that Richard sent me when he went over to the house. We went back-and-forth about whether or not he would still go because it was so late when everybody finished digging, but it turns out they flipped the breaker in the front yard which meant that the freezer in the garage was off. So we had to go over there to turn everything back on, and he also got some more food and then brought over two Aerogardens and the tomato jars. Meanwhile, we had multiple conversations back...
Read more

Favorite things 2024

Okay, I'll give it my best shot! Favorite Treats for Both: Chocolate, Donuts, cupcakes, cookies, ice cream, baklava, M&Ms Favorite Treats for Oliver: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Oreos, Hot chocolate Most candy, honestly Favorite Treats for Penny: Smarties, Skittles, Starbursts, Hershey chocolate bars, Kit Kats Favorite Calming Activities for Both: Sensory swing, fidgets, Legos, diamond painting (Oliver enjoys the stickers, Penny likes medium size projects), Kinetic Sand activities/kits Favorite Calming Activities for Penny: Slime (butter texture), Audiobooks, Baths, Dig Kits Favorite Calming Activities for Oliver: Slime (thick & glossy texture), Showers, Baths, and Water Play (sensitive skin so he doesn't do great with some bath products) Favorite Characters for Both: Pokemon Penny: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson Oliver: Super Mario, Spider-Man, Spidey & Friends Outdoor Activities for Both: Finding gemstones, exploring nature trails, exploring creeks, scooters, bik...
Read more

Quarantine Journals - A letter to the contractors, therapy vent

It has been a month since you told me this job was finished. A month of driving back and forth multiple times a week to review work only to find more errors. You told me you were done, and the fixtures hadn't even been installed.  Nothing had been cleaned—we couldn't even see the damage through the dirt. There was paint in the wrong finish, damage to my new mirror, a leak under the sink with standing water and water damaged paint in the vanities.  There were chipped tiles and damage to the grout on the floor in both bathrooms, and lines drawn in permanent marker on the floors.  There were multiple cracked and scratched tiles in the shower. The carpet had come loose in the hallway and the study.  The tile on the bathroom shelf had been redone 3 times and the grout was unusually dark.  The shut off valve did not work.  The bathroom door would not close.  The towel bar was falling out of the wall. And there were a slew of careless mistakes made with regards to painting and caulkin...
Read more